Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
