I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
