He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
