physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
how does that bad decision feel?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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