You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
