she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
