xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
