we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
