so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
