did you get engaged???
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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