Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
