yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
