I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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