I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
