Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
