Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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