Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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