Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no you cant smoke seaweed
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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