We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
