Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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