Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Mom said you looked used
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
