i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
