you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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