I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
