I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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