How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
