So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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