Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
