i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
