I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
