I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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