Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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