good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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