I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
