I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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