apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
