What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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