Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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