i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
