I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
