Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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