Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
