I hope mine doesn't look like that
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
