Screwed.edu
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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