Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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