From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
