Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
