She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
