Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
