That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
