She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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