I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
